


Aquarius

by Duckgomery



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BFF with Fef, Baby sitting is Meenah's fav, Daddy Issues, Depression, Eridan being a precious child, Other, Sollux is a smooth criminal, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duckgomery/pseuds/Duckgomery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan Ampora had eyes like a stormy sea.<br/> He adored his father as any child adores a caregiver, pinning unrealistic hopes and expectations upon them, causing the descent from god figure to Icarus to be inevitable. Unfortunately, for our protagonist, Eridan’s father was the exception to this. The reason it is considered a misfortune will eventually be made clear.<br/>He had friends.<br/>This is the tale of Eridan Ampora, with stormy eyes, pedestal perching Fathers and a past tense of friends.<br/>This is the tale of how he came to be loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aquarius

Eridan Ampora had eyes like a stormy sea.

He adored his father as any child adores a caregiver, pinning unrealistic hopes and expectations upon them, causing the descent from god figure to Icarus to be inevitable. Unfortunately, for our protagonist, Eridan's father was the exception to this. The reason it is considered a misfortune will eventually be made clear.

He had friends.

This is the tale of Eridan Ampora, with stormy eyes, pedestal perching Fathers and a past tense of friends.

This is the tale of how he came to be loved.

…

The small boy shrieks as he is tossed into the air, only to be caught by the large, bear like hands belonging to his father.

Being hoisted up to the elder's eye level, Eridan is a squirming ball of laughter and squeals, much to Devon Ampora's amusement.

The boy, no more than three at a stretch, reaches out to his Father with small, chubby hands. He is quickly indulged with his request, though then again, this is nothing new to the likes of Eridan. Right from the beginning his Father was always willing to drop everything for the sake of his son's cries.

"Come on now my little buccaneer, time to bed with you," Devon coos, Scottish drawl weighing heavy on his speech. This did not faze young Eridan in the slightest.

Smiling widely up at his father as he recognised his pet name, Eridan allowed himself to be cradled to his father's chest as he was carried through the house. Footsteps echoed throughout the empty passageways, as rhythmic and methodical as the strong, beating heart drumming beneath Eridan's ear, the repetitive sound soothing any pre-existing anxieties brought up with the prospect of being left alone.

Devon smiles as he lowers his dozing son, his spitting image, tucking him into his bed. Pushing back down like curls, he placed a chaste kiss to Eridan's forehead, before leaving.

Padding away from the softly illuminated room, he hummed softly to himself.

His eyes crinkled softly as he looked back, thoughts drifting to the siren that stole his heart and gave him his beloved boy.

He made sure to stop by the wine cellar on his way back to the den. He walked past the racks upon racks of wine. He cared not for it. Instead, he bee-lined for the assortment of spirits he kept locked away from inquisitive young hands.

Whisky is just the company required for the next few hours, he thought to himself.

…

"Daddy, Daddy, wake up, wake up now," Eridan demanded much to his Father's increasing irritation.

"What is it boy? Daddy is very tired and wants to sleep," he grumbled. He loved his son, really he did, but his hangover was currently making itself known and Eridan's shrill voice was doing nothing to help with it.

Accompanied by the infantile keening that betrayed Eridan's age, Devon was jostled until he had turned to face his demanding son.

"What is it Eridan? I'm not a mind-reader at this hour." He drawled out, hoping his tone will motivate the boy to get on with whatever he deemed important enough to wake his poor, weary father for.

Eridan smiled. All chubby cheeks and baby teeth.

He clambers on top of him, his nigh negligible weight hardly a hindrance.

"Guess," he announces. Devon isn't in the mood for this.

"What is it?" exasperated, wanting nothing more than to fall back into the warm embrace of slumber and deal with the day at a more manageable hour.

"You have to guess," Eridan whines. Lip beginning to quiver.

"I don't know! What is it you want!" voice rising in irritation.

Devon flinches at the deflated look crossing his son's face. Shifting around, he brings his arms out from under the plush covers, pulling the small boy to him.

He pretends not to notice how stiff Eridan turns under his touch. With a weary sigh, he begins to rub Eridan's back. Coupling this with the humming of the song he sung for him when he had a bad dream, he feels Eridan relaxing beneath his ministrations.

"I'm sorry," Devon pleads.

"What was it you wished to show your mean old Daddy?" He weaved as much cheer as he could into his speech. It was enough for Eridan to bounce back on.

Shifting around in the previously established hold of his Father, the small boy was back to wearing the cherub like grin that Devon had awoken to.

"Merry Christmas Daddy."

…

Eridan padded down the long hallway towards the source of the ringing. Luckily, he was now tall enough to reach the handle, which he was pretty proud of.

"Hi Aunt Condi," the small boy beams up at the elegant woman. He doesn't notice the look of surprise on her face, nor the worry tinging her eyes.

"Morning Admiral," she kneels down, pulling Eridan in for a hug,

"Shouldn't you be at school? Where's that father of yours?"

The boy pulls back, meeting her eyes with wide-eyed innocence.

"Daddy didn't wake me up so that means that school isn't on." Already he is picking up that something isn't right, hands pulling at the hem of his shirt, buttons not quite lined up.

Her smile crinkles the edge of her eyes with this observation. With a sigh, Condessa pulls herself upright, ruffling Eridan's mop of curls.

"How about we try and find your old man so we can court martial him?" He smiles showing his teeth, and the spaces were teeth will once more reside.

When Devon had been located, sleeping in his office, room reeking of whisky, Eridan was sent out of the room so 'the grow-ups could talk'. Eridan was a smart child and new that they were keeping something from him. He knew Daddy did it all the time, and now Condi. It wasn't fair.

Being stubborn, he took a seat next to the door, letting the muffled yelling permeating through the solid walls become the background track to his inner musings.

…

From a young age, Eridan had fallen heads over heels for one mistress and one mistress only. Science.

He'd always been a child of infinite questions and a hunger for answers. It was adorable at first, but Devon was tiring of it.

Eridan, being the observant child he was, quickly picked up on his Daddy's increasing irritation every time a question passed through his lips. He learnt to improvise, alter his course of actions to obtain his answers in a more subtle, almost scientific manner.

He began to experiment.

It all started simply enough. Eridan would remove or add something to the controlled environment and observe the action that took place. Whenever anything transpired from this course of action, he'd store it away for future reference, for better or for worse.

Sometimes it would be a phrase that he'd test out on Daddy, other times he'd hide items in his immediate vicinity whose absence would or wouldn't be noticeable.

One time, he said something in a fit of pre-adolescent outrage.

"Why can't I go to Aunt Condi's, I wanna play with Fef," he demanded, fists clenched at his sides.

"You can't go because I said so, you spend more time over there than you do here boy, and enough is enough," Devon concluded, turning away from the agitated child.

Eridan stamped his foot down.

"I bet if Mother was here she'd let me go," He declared.

Devon halted his departure.

"What did you say, boy?" he hissed.

As much of an observer Eridan was, he was terrible at picking up body language and audio cues. If he was any better at it, he would have heard the warning sirens blaring out. As it happened to be, they fell on deaf ears.

"I said that if Mother was here, she'd let me go to Aunt Condi's because she would be nice and caring as her and know that I'm happy over there playing with Fef and-"as caught up in his rant as he was, Eridan was oblivious to Devon stomping towards him, or the open hand that struck him across the face.

Silence descended upon the hallway's inhabitants.

Both males stood in the hallway, one wide-eyed in shock, the other boiling with pent up emotions.

"Er-, I, I'm sorry," Devon whimpered, staring down at his son's already swelling cheek.

Eridan looked at him, eyes beginning to water.

Devon stepped forward, leaning down to try and console the clearly distraught boy.

Eridan slapped away the steadily approaching hand and ran. Away from his broken Father.

Hearing a door slam shut, Devon allowed himself to fall down onto his knees, sobs echoing through the cold, empty hallways of the manor.

…

"What's wrong with you two?" Meenah questioned, having just pulled apart the two squabbling children.

Both Eridan and Feferi start babbling and blaming simultaneously.

"And they say I get paid enough for this," she mutters under her breath before trying to settle the two a second and final time.

"Oi, shut it," she threatened, not bothering to hide the smirk on her face as the two's mouths snapped shut.

"OK, now that we have ourselves some quiet, I want to know what happened here. Sis, you start," she commanded.

Feferi sat up straight, looking all the part of sweet, innocent, precious daughter. The tangle of waist length hair said otherwise.

"Well me and Eridan were deciding on what to play," she began.

Meenah gave her a look that told her to get on with it.

"We decided on Prince and Princess," she continued.

"And?" Meenah demanded.

"Well, he wanted to be a princess too, but I said he couldn't because he's a boy and boys can't be princesses," Feferi concluded.

"Yes, they can. It's unfair that only you can be the princess, you can't just keep the best parts for yourself the whole time," Eridan protested.

"No, they can't, only girls can be princesses, 'cause princesses are pink and pretty and wear dresses and boys are smelly and stupid and ugly," Feferi retorted with all the fury of an enraged hamster.

Meenah did her best to not laugh at her sister.

Placing a hand on each of the children's' shoulders, she pushed them back down form their previously raised positions, moments short of them brawling.

"You two need to chill the fuck out," she spoke, ignoring their chiding of her language.

"Eridan, as annoying and full of themselves girls are at times, it doesn't give you a reason to wail on them, are we clear?" she scolded.

Eridan's eyes became fixated on his sock clad feet.

"And Feferi, Eridan is your guest, and as such you need to do what he wants, you can't just keep bossing everyone around, now can you?" she reprimands.

Feferi shakes her head.

"Good. Also, it doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy, you can be whatever you want to be, OK? So are you two good now?" Meenah finishes.

They both nod silently.

"I'm sorry, Fef, for losing my temper, it was rude of me," Eridan mumbles, eyes fixated anywhere but on his dear friend.

"No, it's my fault, Eridan. I shouldn't have been so pushy," Feferi cried, flinging herself into Eridan, who stumbled under the girl's slight weight.

Meenah let them have a moment before she pulled herself up to her feet.

"How bout we get you two ready for bed, then we can watch The Little Mermaid," she called from the doorway.

They nodded reverently to this.

"Can you do my nails too? I want them pink!" Feferi begged, bouncing from Eridan to her sister.

"Fine," Meenah concedes.

"You want yours done too little man?" she enquires, having noticed the dejected look that had crossed the boy's face.

At this, Eridan beamed, running over to join Feferi and her older sister.

"Can I get them pink too?" Eridan queried apprehensively.

"Then we can match!" Feferi squealed, buzzing with excitement.

Meenah shook her head, smile stretching across her face.

"Kid's these days," she chuckled as she went off to her room to retrieve her box of nail polish.

…

When Eridan got up that morning, he knew it was going to be a day like any other.

Bare feet tread across plush carpet as he moved about his room, grabbing clothing and packing his bag for the day.

After taking more time than necessary in the shower, he didn't fail to notice the lack of scolding for taking so long.

Plodding back to his room, he ignored the silence following him, urging him to hurry up.

Descending the stairs two at a time, the nagging telling him not to do it or he'll break his neck failed to occur.

He entered the cold, empty kitchen, void of the scent of freshly brewed coffee or the rustling of paper. He grabbed an apple before moving on.

Eridan stopped in the entryway, looking over his shoulder to the crumpled form snoring on the floor. The scent of a big night out didn't fail to make itself known.

He back-tracked and took care in picking up the shards of glass from around his Father's body.

Having disposed of the shattered remains of one of the nicer vases decorating the manor, Eridan left the house.

Walking to the bus stop gave him time to put on his mask and persona that he refused to let others see him without. No one could see the real him. If they did they'd treat him worse than they already did.

With a stiff upper lip, he boarded the bus, skilfully evading the obstacles his schoolmates put in his path. Some may say it cruel and un-necessary, but this was every-day for Eridan by now. He'd adjusted.

He sat down in the middle, next to a boy who refused to acknowledge his presence for fear of catching the social suicide that came with exchanging any form of seemingly positive contact with one Eridan Ampora.

He wished they'd all just die.

…

"W-what do you mean? W-why are you shipping me off?" Eridan stammered, cursing how his voice caught over certain sounds.

"You heard me boy, and stop stuttering," Devon grumbled. "I'm no happier about this than you are." He shot a glare over to Condi.

She crossed her arms in irritation.

"It's not my fault that your drinking has gotten out of control now, is it?" She returned the offending glare with one of her own. "Eridan, I'm sorry but it's best if you go. I'd have you stay with us but I'm away on business and Meenah and Feferi are off to spend time with their father over the break. Sorry kiddo." She finished softly.

She knew, from Feferi that Eridan had problems with the other kids at school and hated how she couldn't do anything about it. If Eridan didn't want help, there was nothing she could do to help. The least she could do is help get the poor boy's Father get him-self back on track.

"Fine, but only for you Condi," Eridan finally conceded. "I'll get started on packing then," he declared before leaving the room.

No one commented

Both the adults let out pent up breaths.

"I don't know what to do with him anymore, whenever I look at him all I can see is her," Devon confessed.

"Get better, and then you can start worrying, OK Devon?" He nodded. "I'll go and see if he needs any help." She doesn't look back as she leaves the room.

Devon allows his head to rest in his open palms.

"You would know what to do," he whispered to the empty room.

…

When Eridan entered the room he'd be sharing with a bunch of strangers for the next six weeks, he was a nervous wreck. His curls sticking up every which way, due to constantly pulling at them throughout the three hour drive to the camp grounds.

He cursed the fact that he wasn't the first one to get here. Why did he procrastinate to the extent he did? Now he was the focus to the other boys occupying the space.

A short, dark haired boy looked up from his heated debate with another boy, this one gangly and donning a pair of what appeared to be 3-D glasses.

"Who the hell are you?" He demanded.

Eridan flinched at his tone.

"I'm Eridan, Eridan Ampora," he stammered, wincing when he realised that he'd slipped up again.

"Geez, Karkat, way to scare our roomie," the gangly one berated playfully. "Well, I'm Sollux Captor and this grumpy midget is Karkat." Pointing to the other, now fuming boy in turn.

"I'll show you midget, you lisping bastard," Karkat bellowed before talking the substantially taller boy to the ground.

The sight was simply too much for Eridan and he let out a snort.

At the sound, the two boys on the ground turned to stare at him. Eridan gulped at the matching looks of mischief plastered across their faces.

Unfortunately for him, he wasn't quick enough to evade the twin efforts of the two boys, and was quickly pinned to the floor as the two boys mercilessly attacked his sides.

When Equius came upon his designated dorm room, he was greeted with the sight of the three boys rolling about on the floor, a flurry of un-masculine giggles.

"How improper," he muttered under his breath, as he waded through the hastily flung about contents of his room-mates' bags.

…

"Kar," Eridan began.

"What is it, I'm busy," Karkat grunted from the other end of the line.

"Can it wait, I'm bored," Eridan whined, ignoring the grumbling from the other boy.

"I can't just drop everything at your every beck and call, Ampora, I have other things to do, other idiots to babysit for the greater good of society," Karkat began to rant.

Eridan flopped onto his bed, dangling his legs over the edge.

"C'mon Kar, it'll be fun. Fresh Prince marathon, what do you say?" He began to plead.

"Fine! I'll be over in a bit, let me just finish a few things up, ok!" Karkat grumbled.

"Thanks Kar, you're the best," Eridan exclaimed, not being taken back by the sudden slam followed by the dial tone that announced Karkat's departure from the call.

With a smile stretched across his face, he ran through the dim hallways, making his way to his Father's wing of the house. Seeing the tell-tale sign of sight seeping under the door of his Father's study, Eridan knocked before pushing the door open.

"What is it, Eridan?" Devon called wearily from his desk, his body slouched over the folders of paperwork littering his desk.

"Kar is coming over in a bit, can we order something in?" Eridan asked.

Devon, as exhausted as he was, noted the air of excitement hanging around his son.

"Fine. Bring me the menu from that Chinese place once you boys have decided on what you want," he began. "And I don't want you two staying up too late, alright?" He added as an after-thought. He might as well act like a responsible parent every now and then.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Dad," Eridan called from the doorway, "Love you," he called before closing it behind him.

They both knew that Devon wouldn't enforce an early bedtime, but the somewhat normal dialogue being exchanged the two of them helped convince themselves that things were going to be alright. Things were getting better though. They were getting better.

Devon, still after all the years, couldn't bring himself to return his Son's sentiments.

…

"What are you doing here, Eridan? Get in before you become anymore saturated," Karkat groans, stepping back to let the miserable looking boy enter the threshold.

Eridan looked a sorry state, hair and clothing plastered down by the onslaught of rain. His already pale face had taken an almost deathly hue due to temperatures accompanying it. His teeth chattered from the cold.

"C'mon, let's see if I have anything that will fit your ridiculously skinny frame, then we are getting you into a hot shower. Then we can address my question, alright?" Karkat ordered, dragging the soaking boy to the bathroom.

Throwing a towel at him, Karkat left the room.

"Just put your wet clothes outside the door and I'll chuck them in the dryer. I'll put a fresh set out here anyway though." He called from the other side of the door.

"Thanks Kar," Eridan spoke, already beginning the audacious task of peeling his clothes off. How dare the adhesive properties of water molecules hinder his process.

Having stood under the torrent of water until the water began to run cool, Eridan deemed that enough time had been spent in the shower. Pulling on the clothes that Karkat had left by the door for him, he couldn't help but smile. As much as he hissed, Karkat was a big old softy, and Eridan was glad he could count him on his small list of friends.

Upon entering Karkat's room, Eridan was shoved into the pile of blankets and pillows that was perched atop Karkat's bed.

"Sorry that they don't quite fit you, you're built like a twig," he huffs, forcing a mug of hot chocolate into Eridan's hands.

"It's fine Kar, thanks for everything," Eridan replies, voice deflated.

Karkat puts on a DVD and they spend the next while in a comfortable silence of sorts, huddled next to each other under the blankets.

As the movie drew to its climax, Karkat paused the disc.

"I guess you want your explanation, don't you?" Eridan chuckled nervously.

Karkat nodded stubbornly.

"Me and Dad got in an argument of sorts," Eridan hesitated.

"And?" Karkat urged.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time we fought, but it has been increasingly getting more frequent and worse as of late," Eridan pauses. Karkat repeats his earlier question. "Well, I started at him because ever since he started drinking again he's been different. He goes on to tell me that he can do whatever he wants and that I'm not the boss of him," Eridan told, voice wavering more and more as he got increasingly worked up.

"When he talks to me these days, it's like he's talking to someone else, like he doesn't know that I'm me! How can he do that, I'm his son, why can't he treat me like it!" He fumed, only calming down somewhat as Karkat begins to rub circles into his back.

"I'm not her, why can't he see that? I'm not her!" Eridan wails, letting himself fall into the warm embrace of Karkat's arms.

Karkat was like the mother he never really had. The only maternal figure he could rely on, more so than Aunt Condi who no longer had time for him. Karkat was always there to help him with his problems. He was always there to be a shoulder to cry on. He could do anything. He was the best friend Eridan could have ever asked for.

"Sometimes I think everything would be perfect if I wasn't here. If it wasn't for me, she'd still be here and Dad would be happy. He wouldn't have to go through every day caring for his wife's murderer. If it wasn't for me he'd be able to love," he mutters.

"Don't talk like that, Eridan. Of course he loves you, he's your Dad. All parents love their children, it's an unconditional thing," Karkat consoled.

"Who could love a monster like me, Kar? Tell me?" Eridan whimpered.

Karkat kept Eridan close to him, combing his fingers through the steadily drying curls, as the other boy cried himself out. He knew that nothing he said would be of any use at this stage. It was a lesson hard learnt.

It wouldn't be the first this had happened. It wouldn't be the last one, either. They were both aware of it.

…

Eridan slunk into the Manor, taking care not to make any sound as he entered.

Once he'd changed and freshened up, he walked down to the kitchen, starting up the coffee machine.

Assuming he was in the clear for now, he pulled out an extra mug.

"Dad, you want anything with your coffee?" He called out, voice echoing through the hallways.

No response.

With a look to the clock hung on the wall, Eridan allowed a frown to make its home on his face.

He should definitely be up by now.

"Dad, you want anything or what?" Eridan yelled once more.

The silence following made a heavy feeling settle in his gut.

Something was wrong.

Trying his best to keep his demeanour, Eridan scurried out towards the rooms his Father often was found in.

The Library, Lounge, Bedroom and Cellar were all void of Devon's presence.

"He must have fallen asleep at his desk again, nothing to worry about" Eridan reasoned to himself. His feet picking up their pace until he was just short of sprinting.

The feeling that had settled in Eridan's gut wasn't alleviated by his attempted reassurance.

He wasn't prepared for what the Study contained for him.

"Who's there? If this is you Devon, I don't have time to deal with whatever you called me for," Condessa informed, patience obviously frayed at this point of their relationship.

"Aunt Condi," Eridan whimpered.

"Eridan? Is that you? What's wrong?" Her tone taking a complete one-eighty.

"It's Dad," He continues.

"What has Devon done this time?" Condessa chided, the sound of rustling papers and clacking keys a whisper in the background.

"He won't wake up," Eridan whispers.

"What! Is everything alright?" She shrieks her voice the only thing audible one the other end now.

"He- he won't wake up and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!" Eridan sobbed, voice tinged with desperation and hysterics.

"Jesus," She is silent for a second. "Eridan, Eridan! I need you to be strong for me, OK? Have you called an ambulance? No? OK, I need to hang up so I can call them. Will you be fine for a moment? It will only be a few minutes. Can you do that for me? I'll be there shortly, OK? I need to go now, so I can make that call, I just need you to keep calm for me. Can you do that?" She asserted, only ending the call when she heard the tone indicating that Eridan had hung up.

After making a hasty call to the emergency services and a hurried explanation to her secretary, she rushed out of her office.

Breaking a few road rules, Condessa managed to pull into the driveway moments before the ambulance.

She led the crew through the house, leading them to the study, marked by the presence of Eridan, sitting with his head leaning on his knees.

The crew made their way into the room, leaving Condi to console the clearly distraught boy.

"Everything will be fine, Eridan, Devon will be back up and about in no time, you'll see," she lied.

The tone of the voices and the urgency of their actions drifted out into the hallway.

A hush fell over the house.

They were invited into the room.

Only then did they both realise how old and weary he looked.

The once immortal status that all children give their parents had been removed, the illusion having been shattered the moment Eridan had seen his Father, collapsed on the floor, the contents of his desk scattered across the floor, hand clutched to his chest.

They both knew that Condi was lying. They both knew that Devon wouldn't be up and about.

Devon Ampora, single father of Eridan Ampora, died at the age of 45. He had passed away during the night due to a heart attack. No one had seen it coming.

…

Eridan sauntered along the pathway weaving through the campus's' foliage. It was the start of a new chapter of his life and he was prepared to seize it by the horns. This was going to be his year, he could feel it.

He was confident, he looked great, and he had this. Nothing could bring him down.

He ended up stuttering when it came to introductions for his first tutorial, much to the amusement of his peers.

Nope, he couldn't do this, he was a lie.

Before he could descend further into the abyss that was his self-loathing as hid away in a cubicle during his break, his phone rang.

"W-who is this," Eridan enquired flatly, berating himself for the stutter he just couldn't lose.

"Fuck ED, way to make a guy feel wanted," Sollux laughed. Eridan heard a chorus of voices in the background.

"W-what is it Sol, can't a guy w-wallow in despair without being interrupted these days?" Eridan moaned, not in the mood to deal with this.

"Well, Aradia, Terezi, Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Karkat, Nepeta, and I were all thinking of doing dinner tonight to celebrate first week of university, you in or what?" Sollux queried.

"Do I have to Sol, I'm going to be the ninth wheel on your quadruple date, don't do this to me!" Eridan pleaded.

"You are doing this ED because we all know that you have nothing better to do. Also, if you are so against being the ninth wheel, hook up with someone so they too can join our dysfunctional little family," Sollux teases.

Eridan lets out a sigh, unlocking the door of the cubicle and making his way out into the hall.

"Fine, I'll come, not like I have any say in the matter anyway," he grumbles into the mouthpiece.

"Damn straight Eridan, we all can't wait for you to regale us in your tales of how no-one in your classes is your equal and have no right to breathe in the same room as you because their very presence dissuades your genius mind," Karkat yells down the phone line.

A smile pulls at the edge of Eridan's mouth.

"Let me guess, you've all decided on my apartment, am I correct in this presumption?" He commented, doing his best to mask his excitement.

At times like this he was glad he was living by himself. His place had become the meeting grounds of sorts for their group of friends for the past few months. Eridan always got giddy at the chance to host as well, loving how his few friends always made excuses to come over.

"We'll be over at seven, baring pizza and booze," Sollux chimes before ending the call.

Eridan managed to pull through the rest of the day with minimum incident and self-critism. The thought of seeing his friends that evening was enough to get him through his remaining classes.

…

"What the fuck do you want Sol?" Eridan greets wearily, hair dropping beneath a layer of moisture.

"Fuck man, you don't look good?" Sollux states, standing awkwardly in the hall.

Eridan rolls his eyes, retreating back into his apartment.

"Whatever you do, just close the door after you," he droned, plopping down on the couch, the crumpling of cans audible.

Sollux follows him inside, shutting the door behind him. He is hit by the wall of smell, the overwhelming smell of stale beer hanging heavy in the air.

Sollux ran through the numbers quickly. From the last time he'd seen him, it was shocking seeing how Eridan had deteriorated into this. Personal hygiene had been thrown out the window for one, judging by the liquid marks staining the once white shirt and the state of his usually meticulously styled hair. The state of the normally tidy apartment made him cringe at the site.

"Are you OK Eridan? When was the last time you left this place?" Sollux enquired, standing at the threshold of the room.

Eridan answers him by cracking open another can, guzzling down its contents in a single breath. Seeing that the other boy still hasn't joined him, Eridan beckons him over, tossing over an unopened can at his guest.

"I'm fine, peachy, what about you? There has to be a reason that you've dragged yourself over to my humble abode," he droned, grey eyes drifting over once more to where Sollux was standing.

The lanky boy places the can on the counter before joining his friend.

"When was the last time you went to class?" Sollux pried.

"What does it matter to you anyway Sol? My life. My choices. Now what did you want?" Eridan snapped.

"It's Aradia, she dumped my ass," he explained, his eyes fixated on the cans carpeting the floor.

"Why did you come to me for this? No-one ever comes to me for this shit," Eridan made known, pulling out another can from god knows where.

"Well Karkat has enough to deal with at the moment. I have no right to burden him with anything else right now. Plus everyone else is more Aradia's friends or would be on her side. You're all I have left," Sollux confesses.

"Nice to know I'm a last resort, makes me feel real important," Eridan barked, laughter bitter.

"It's not like Eridan, it's just-" Sollux started.

"It doesn't matter what I am or what you think of me, it doesn't matter in the end. I'm worthless and of no use to anyone. I'm barely there, a ghost hanging onto the shredded remains of a past existence that no longer supports it," Eridan laughs, tears tracking down his hallow face.

Sollux stares at him in shock.

The only sounds in the apartment are the dry laughter rattling Eridan's frame and the droning a of news report on the television.

The clattering of a key in the lock snaps them both out their stupors.

"Eridan, you better be decent because for better or not, I'm coming in." a shrill voice calls from the door.

"Leave me alone Fef," Eridan implores.

Sollux looks over to see who this 'Fef' is.

He is struck breathless.

"Man ED, I never knew you had it in you, and here we all thought you were gay," Sollux grinned at the girl standing in the door, taken back by the unexpected occupant.

"She's not what your implying Sol, just a 'friend' I have history with," Eridan drawled, not bothering to properly introduce the two, attention instead focused on the weather forecast.

Sollux, fortunately, had more manners than that.

"Hi, I'm Sollux." He bounds over to the blonde, hand extended in greeting.

She giggles at this.

"Hi Sollux, I'm Feferi, this grump-gills' best friend since childhood." She shook his hand before nodding her head over to Eridan's slouched form.

"She lies, lies," Eridan sneered, "She is no friend of mine for I have no friends, none." He finishes with a pout, tossing his most recently drained can into the mass resting at his feet. "And even if I had any friends, what makes you so sure that you'd be the one I bestow the honour of being my best friend." He whines at the realisation that there is no more alcohol within his reach.

The rooms other two occupants share a look.

"Look at yourself Eridan, you're acting like a child," Feferi scolds, "How long has he been like this?" She turned to address Sollux.

"No idea, the last anyone saw him was about week ago. He dropped out of contact a few days after that," Sollux confesses. "Should've realised something was up." Guilt tinging his words.

"Don't beat your-self up, he gets like this sometimes, completely incapable of taking care of himself," she rubs his forearm. They share a sheepish smile.

"Can you lend me a hand with him, I'd really appreciate it," she hinted, looking over to her friend.

"Sure thing FF, you start the shower and I'll get him in it," he responded.

She giggles.

"Just so you know, he has a mean pitching arm," she warns, already running down to the bathroom.

…

Eridan's finger hovered over the call button, eyes fixated on the selected name. With a scream of frustration, he pushes the phone away, head sinking into his arms to rest.

Why should he bother anyway? If he did call, who's to say that they'd even answer? They'd probably hang up on him, or decline his offer. Or even worse, they could play along with him, lull him into a state of security and then sweep it all out from under him, laughing over his gullibility with everyone else.

It was easier to spare him-self and not make the call anyway.

He was pretty lonely though.

Well it was a two-way street. They'd call him if they wanted him.

But they hadn't.

So here Eridan sat, alone. The apartment may have been cluttered with junk and nick-knacks but it had never felt emptier. It was almost like the place he grew up in…

His thoughts drifted to his Father, and how his death could have been avoided if he'd been there.

It was his fault.

Everyone he loved died.

Everyone he let close got hurt or swept up in the storm that crashed around him.

With a roar, he sweeps his arms out, knocking over the various nick-knacks and frames covering every available surface of the room.

Once he has calmed downed, he sits amidst the ruins that were his room.

One of the photos catches his eye and his breath catches in his chest.

Scurrying over on all fours, not carrying for the state of his body, he pulls the now damaged image to his chest, not caring about his bloody hands staining the photo.

A memory of happier times.

A happy Father and his smiling baby boy.

Eridan descended into howls of anguish in the cold, empty apartment.

…

He trailed behind the two of them, glaring bitterly at their interwoven fingers.

"C'mon Eridan, we're going to be late if you keep up this pace," Feferi calls back,

"Just go on ahead, Fef, I'll catch up with you lot later," Eridan growled. "Not like I want to go anyway."

At this Feferi snatched her hand out of Sollux's and they both turn to face the miserable male.

"No Eridan, we're not leaving you on your own. The last time you told us to go on ahead you never showed, same goes for the time before that, and the one before that. We're sick and tired of all these lies, Eridan," she snapped, checks flushing red in agitation. "We're trying so hard to help you Eridan, God knows we are, but you have to meet us part way! We can no longer trust you, is that what you wanted? Is it?" she implored, eyes beginning to water.

"No Fef, it's not what I wanted. But do you want to know what I want Fef? Do ya?" Eridan taunted, "I want to be loved sincerely, and none of this pity that everyone assumes is good enough to substitute with when it comes to me. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright, and mean it. I want to wake up in the morning without feeling that the world would be a better place if I was wiped from it. I want a family, and the unconditional love that goes along with it! I want to go back in time and tell my mother to get me aborted because that way Dad would be happy and still alive!" He screamed, "I want to be left alone, no more interference, no more contact. Nothing! Just leave me, move on with your life. Don't let me burden any of you any longer. Send my regards to everyone will you, and I wish you the best for the future!" He finished bitterly.

As he turned to walk back to his 'home' he felt a hand grip his shoulder.

"Eridan. Calm down. We're late anyway, what are a few more minutes. Let's just get going, OK?" Sollux insisted.

"Go fuck your-self, Sol," Eridan hissed, shaking off the other's grip, storming off.

"Don't bother with him Sol, let him make his own choices, he doesn't need us. He doesn't need anyone! He's too good for anyone else. We're not worth his time," Feferi scoffed.

Eridan continued on his way, ignoring her sobs and Sollux comforting her.

He didn't need anyone.

What did they know anyway?

…

"What's gotten into you, Ampora?" Karkat interrogated.

"Nothing Kar, I was just in a mood, you know how I get," Eridan claimed.

"Seriously Eridan, Sollux calls to tell me that you and Feferi had a screaming match in the middle of the street. She refuses to communicate directly with you, but she's concerned, and hurt. Are you alright?" His voice dripping with concern.

Eridan knew he wasn't worth any of it.

"I've been feeling off Kar, I just want to rest, can I call you back another time?" Eridan pleaded.

"Promise me that you'll get back to me. Can you do that?" Karkat's voice urged, resonating through the phone.

Eridan smiled to himself, eyes contradicting the action. He reached over to place the now empty bottle of pills back on the shelf. With a clatter he closed the cabinet as he left the room, making sure to turn the light of behind him.

"Don't worry Kar, I'll see you soon," Sitting down on his bed, legs crossed, he swallowed the first few dry.

"You sure you're fine? I can come on over if you want." Voice tainted with worry.

"It's nothing Kar, I'm just a little tired," Eridan asserted dimly.

The empty water bottle rolls of the bed, rattling off the hardwood flooring.

"Just a bit tired," he concluded before ending the call, cutting off the squawks of indignation already spewing forth from the other end.

His phone starts to ring but he ignores it, letting himself become swept away in the song spewing forth.

It was always his favourite, having been something that he clearly remembered his Dad singing to him from as far back as he could remember. It was their song.

Eridan rolls onto his back, eyes struggling to focus on the images fastened meticulously across the ceiling. A broken laugh breaks forth from his chest and his eyes begin to sting.

The phone starts to ring once again.

Conceding defeat, he allows his eyes to close, letting the ringing lull him into the long anticipated embrace of slumber one final time.

…

"You stupid, stupid boy," she sobs, trembling hands brushing his limp curls back.

"I'm going to give him hell when he wakes up, mark my words," he fumes. "He made me a promise and I take those things seriously." He curls up further into the stiff hospital chair.

Eridan, begrudgingly, comes to.

Seeing his eyes flutter open, Feferi whimpers before flinging herself onto the bedridden male, tears soaking into his flimsy, hospital gown.

"Don't you do something like that again," Sollux demanded.

"Don't you fucking dare," Karkat growled all previous anger evaporating.

Eridan doesn't say anything.

For once in his life he doesn't feel the need to.

…

"Are you ready to go? We can give you a moment if you need it?" Feferi called from the doorway.

Eridan took a final scan around the bland hospital room that had been his for the past few months.

"I think I'm good to go Fef, I just want to go home." He sighed.

Sollux laughs from his post at Feferi's side.

"I bet, my back aches just looking at that bed. How did you manage?" He teased.

"I'm a martyr, or have you forgotten Sol. Not that I blame you, you IT guys tend not to have the brainpower to keep such things in mind," Eridan proclaimed dramatically.

Feferi swats at the both of them.

"Don't either of you start, we don't want to disturb the peace now. We are in public after all," she chided.

Sollux and Eridan share a snicker to which Feferi reaches up to hit them across the back of the head.

They both flank her, making their way through the labyrinth of corridors and hallways.

As they pull into the drive-way of Feferi and Sollux's shared house, Eridan doesn't fail to notice the abundance of vehicle's littering the street.

He shoots them a playful glare.

"You guys didn't," he scolds.

"Blame Karkat and Dave. Those two are a force to be reckoned with when they're in agreement." Sollux chuckled.

Pulling up his duffle-bag, stuffed with the few changes of clothing he had in the hospital contained within, he joined the other two at their spot by the door.

"You ready Eridan?" Feferi asked,

"As ready as ever Fef," he smiled. "Can I just thank you for tolerating me and giving me a place to stay? It means a lot. I love you guys," Eridan spoke with conviction, wrapping his arms around the couple.

"Love you too Eridan," Feferi gushes, stamping on Sollux's foot.

"Yeah, me too," Sollux mumbles, not wanting the guests inside to catch wind of the oestrogen fest occurring in the front yard.

"We should get in before the masters of ceremonies and proceedings throw a fit," Sollux interrupted.

"They went for titles, really?" Eridan lets the two of them out of his grasp.

"It was the only way, they assured us of this," Feferi chimes, pushing the door open.

Eridan looks about at all the smiling faces standing before him, berating him-self for being so blind for all these years.


End file.
